dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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