dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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