: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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