my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture