Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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