brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.