I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
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There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
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jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .