Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.

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(914): No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/14mn

Replies (15) Good night (896) Bad night (6495)
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(915): View more from Texas

What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin

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(915): What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin http://tfl.nu/xzqi

Replies (52) Good night (902) Bad night (3306)
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(914): View more from New York

last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.

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(914): last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever. http://tfl.nu/26l9

Replies (23) Good night (7179) Bad night (834)
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(310): View more from California

kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

(1-310): View more from California

damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

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(310): kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley. (1-310): damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now. http://tfl.nu/1545

Replies (65) Good night (2498) Bad night (3432)
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(916): View more from California

And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.

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(916): And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides. http://tfl.nu/gjkd

Replies (29) Good night (1534) Bad night (3289)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.

(519): View more from Ontario

She did the bend and snap...

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(519): I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy. (519): She did the bend and snap... http://tfl.nu/78hn

Replies (29) Good night (7685) Bad night (1125)
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(559): View more from California

Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston

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(559): Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston http://tfl.nu/g2h3

Replies (3) Good night (2069) Bad night (604)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It was pathetic and I was covered in butter

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(201): It was pathetic and I was covered in butter http://tfl.nu/w2vb

Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (828)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.

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(781): Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours. http://tfl.nu/9pdv

Replies (11) Good night (1845) Bad night (1249)
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(567): View more from Ohio

I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.

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(567): I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin. http://tfl.nu/b7wh

Replies (6) Good night (987) Bad night (1676)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.

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(731): He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver. http://tfl.nu/fyob

Replies (8) Good night (2077) Bad night (512)
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(909): View more from California

Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?

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(909): Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy? http://tfl.nu/kkqk

Replies (10) Good night (1787) Bad night (623)
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(323): View more from California

All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again

(424): View more from California

I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill

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(323): All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again (424): I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill http://tfl.nu/ys2w

Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (447)
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(618): View more from Illinois

One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.

(1-618): View more from Illinois

Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!

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(618): One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat. (1-618): Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research! http://tfl.nu/3g8w

Replies (6) Good night (1509) Bad night (245)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?

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(614): Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text? http://tfl.nu/s4pf

Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (244)

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