He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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