sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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