Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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