Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
