waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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