it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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