Me too!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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