haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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