I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
