My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
