the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
