I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
