Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
