I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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