yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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