dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
