come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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