My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you had me at cake vodka
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
