He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
