can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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