Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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