Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
