so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
