Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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