she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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