I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
