I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
