I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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