If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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