stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
