Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
