I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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