ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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