did you get engaged???
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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