my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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