Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
