cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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