Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
