shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
