I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
