dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
