Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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