ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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