If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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