i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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