I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
