Are we in a gay sports bar?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
