Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
