Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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