don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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