Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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