just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
