the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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