White coat. Heels.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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