Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
