so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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