And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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