I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
