I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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