Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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